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Episode 17 is where it all began. At a church, passing by one another and taking care of a dog.



Mars doesn't even recognize Venus...Rei only recognizes her as Minako Aino, the idol, not Sailor Venus. Sailor Venus on the other hand recognizes Mars right away.


A youma attacks and Rei runs after, Minako follows as well despite Artemis' disapproval.







Here's what's interesting. Minako could have stayed out of this battle, she could have just butt out, but she refused. She decided to transform right in front of Mars, instead of hiding away and transforming...so why not keep her identity a secret from Mars?



They fight together, Venus gets hurt and Mars, instead of chasing after the youma, runs to Venus and makes sure she is okay.

Venus scolds her and Mars stands up for herself, to which I feel won Venus' respect for Mars. Maybe that was the point where Venus started liking Mars.

Or maybe before that, because if you'll notice, in the taxi scene, she realizes that she made a mistake but was caught up in the moment...or in the moment of concern for Mars?


Rei goes back to the church to check up on the dog, and Minako, despite her better judgment, does as well. Shouldn't she be staying away from Mars? Can she though?

Minako is being childish and when she sees Rei bring dog food, she brings better brand dog food...

This is where their competitive streak starts. It's funny how it's only with Mars...maybe because Mars stood up for herself.



The church priest needs to advertise that there's a dog, and Rei thinks up for the idea of posters before Minako does, which bothers Minako, because according to their competion of some sort, Rei saying the idea out first means she's better than Minako.

So they both get down to making the poster...



Artemis is concerned that Minako is spending too much time with Rei. I think Minako likes Rei's company, but being stubborn, like Rei, she denies it. She also comes to the conclusion of why the priest was attacked in the first place.


Rei is putting up posters and then finally sees a large poster...from yours truly!


God they are such kids. But they are so cute competing with each other...tension much?

Of course there's a youma lurking around and so when the church is attacked the Sailor Senshi come to the rescue...only to get beaten up.

That is until Venus shows up! Despite Mars telling her not to, Venus shows up to save the day.

This is a part of the episode, that's very subtle but has meaning to it. Venus is looking at the enemy, but then Mars says "why?" and Venus hears her and looks at her...




To be honest, if I'm not aware of your presence then I would probably not have heard you. I think Venus is quite aware of Mars and her presence..to the point that I think she's been paying special attention to Mars. If Sailormoon has asked why, I doubt Venus would have looked at her, instead opting to jump down. Even when Venus jumps down, she makes eye contact with Mars first.

Of course there are other scenes as well..such as the winky winky and all but you'll just have to watch it yourself to see it.

There's another scene in this episode that gets my "Minako and Rei like each other!" senses tingling...it's in the end when Minako says she can't wait until Mars fully awakens.


First, what she says. She can't wait for Mars to awaken. Only Mars. Not Sailor moon who she was talking about earlier, but Mars. Is it just competitiveness, something more or both?

Then it's that look on her face. She says it with a smile, it looks like a fond expression and she's really looking forward to it. Is she looking forward to seeing Mars again?

It's subtle, but it's there. This episode definately shows something is going on...at least from Minako's end.

Hope they're together in SM 2013!

Rei and Minako: Act 40

So there are a lot of Minako and Rei moments in the PGSM that make my toes..curl? It makes me feel giddy. When I think about it, episode 40 is one of them. It's funny, sweet and you get to see them laugh together. I don't like the ending...just when Minako and Rei confront each other...it's kinda sad and alludes to the point that Minako won't be there for long. Sorry, I don't do spoiler alerts :P

But, here's what I've noticed from this episode:

So Minako has decided to quit singing. Who does Artemis go to first?


That's right! It's Rei!


Rei decides to take over Minako's role...you know, model, sing, do the stuff that idols do. How does Minako feel about it?


That is one scary look.


^That's what Minako says! Then she walks away...


Until her manager compliments Rei.


Then she turns around and stares at Rei! YAY!
Rei looks back at her and then continues posing. It's a one second look.


Minako isn't happy with what has been going on. She lets her manager know her displeasure and says she can also sing her new single better than Reiko can...


This is about to get ugly.


I wasn't kidding. The two are going to compete but not alone.



Minako as always, berates Rei, but Rei stands up for herself!


This was cute. Minako's team is losing so there's a ballon expanding above her!


Rei is such a devil!



When Minako's team wins, Minako...


Only to realize Rei might be watching her...


But Rei missed it...for she is sulking!


Haha there's a funny moment where Luna disappears and Minako has this skeptical look and then side glances at Rei who can't believe it at first but finds her sense of humor.





Well...Minako's team loses!



Rei isn't so nice about it...Minako's expression is hilarious!


Minako does not give up!


That's right it's a fight between Minako and Rei. Winner takes all! Takes the girl!



Minako is giving her...the look.


Now this is where my senses were going crazy! They are sword fighting, Minako is asserting her dominance over Rei. In a bid to do that, she goes closer to Rei until they are standing side by side!





Rei finally looks up at Minako.


Now they just stare at each other!



Minako looks like she can't look away either...



Damn. It's so hot. And watch Rei as she moves closer to Minako, by the end of it, their arms are pressing up against each other!







I don't know about anyone else but there are a lot of sparks flying and tension going on between them...more than for just a song...

But alas, the others have to interfere!


They get attacked move away together, look at each other, realize they are with the enemy, move away and then...




And then Rei laughs, which makes Minako laugh.



This part also, where they walk towards each other, gets my senses jumping.
It's the way they look at each other.




And finally when they are tired...they just look at each other and laugh.




Minako finally starts singing again and while everyone else leaves, Rei stays behind.



This is another part that makes me jump and say "THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!"

In here, when Minako sings the lyrics "Anata no koto omou to attakaku naru no" she looks like she is thinking about something or someone and the screen changes to Rei!




Translation of the lyrics: Just thinking about you makes me feel warm

OMG! They are so meant to be! <3

Well I hope something related to them being together happens in Sailormoon 2013...

And the last part, their confrontation...which I will not talk about... so sad :(


Until next time!

PGSM Sailormoon

So I've just...well finished Sailor Moon PGSM version, and I was sad. It is such a good series, and the actresses are amazing! I love Keiko Kitagawa and Ayaka Komatsu, they made their characters, Rei Hino and Minako Aino so realistic. It's sad that there isn't another season, because I'd love to see what sort of a relationship Mars and Venus have with one another.

So many speculations...and it's funny because that one scene where Usagi throws her flowers into the crowd and Rei and Minako bump into each other, the look they give each other set everyone off.

Why would you feel awkward bumping into someone?

Here's how it was, second by second:


Minako seems a little happy...either by the fact that Usagi is throwing the flowers or that Rei is standing too close...


They bump into each other...Rei realizes it quite well...like she groped Minako accidently..Minako looks mildly shocked. Minako moves a bit because of the bump.




They look at each other so quickly. Rei is shocked that she bumped into Minako and Minako, not giving a lot away on her face stares back and then just as quickly as they stare at one another, they look away. Minako's face looks like "Really Rei?"





Minako just seems to stare at Rei and Rei seems to stare back. What the hell? What does that mean? Also Rei is moving closer and closer to Minako as these four pictures progress. You'll have to see them in slow motion. Was Rei going to kiss Minako?


Rei looks away, Minako continues to stare as if she's still looking at Rei or wants to say something? But I love how Ami and Makoto are smiling at them in the back throughout their entire exchange!



This one looks more like Minako is saying "Fine, don't say it!"




Rei's expression looks like she's embarassed for sure.


Minako and Rei look like they are saying "Whatever"


Minako looks pensive, Rei's still trying to play it cool


This is where she looks disappointed. Regret perhaps? They were moving into each other!
And it happened so fast, that people couldn't catch it until you slowed down.


Oh Ami and Makoto know exactly what is going on.

So how does one decipher the look that they have after?

With Rei, it's obvious that she's embarassed and bothered. This interaction, even though I'm reading so much into it, does not make any sense. In episode 47, for the first half, Rei was so happy to be have Minako join them in the crown. Extremely happy. Whatever happened to our serious, not so cheerful priestess? And relating the two episodes together, there should have just been some friendly apology and that's all right? But there's tension...and it makes no sense why, unless  something is going on between them..

Now lets go to Minako's expression. It's rather hard to tell. She's shocked and disappointed. My friend said she looks indifferent and it might have been one sided but if you think about it, Minako's character is naturally the type to not be open with her emotions. She's remained like that through the entire series. At least you could tell there's something bothering her, but the end of it, her face looks like disappointment. I wondered why. Why would someone be disappointed by someone bumping into them? At this point, I wish I could contact Ayaka Komatsu and ask her what sort of an expression Minako was trying to make.

Unless I just saw wrong and Minako and Rei were not moving close to each other or staring in that way at each other.

I'd also like to ask  Naoko Takeuchi what Mars and Venus' relationshp are. Unfortunately, I'll probably never get a response because they'd think I'm spamming them.

But yeah. That's my take. Oh and you can't forget this scene:






Yup, Minako needs new bodyguards. Though with that type of kick, I'm not sure who the bodyguards are protecting. What ever you do Rei, do not tickle her unless you want to be kicked hard!




I love how Minako tells the clowns to move aside and because of her commanding aura, they do. I agree Artemis, typical Minako. So sexy though.

I hope Sailormoon 2013 would at least explore their relationship though...not likely.

Saki: Achiga-hen Episode 12

That was a mindblowing match. Toki is definately my favourite player in that episode. I wonder if she just looked ahead to alter the future or if the future would have resulted in the same manner. Either way, it was an awesome match! With Teru leading and about to deliever a final blow Achiga-hen Kuro stopped her after finally discarding a dora. She is a waiting person, so she'll wait for the dora to come back. It was interesting how Teru noticed that something was wrong with Toki, but didn't rush to her like the other two players did. Probably because the other groups played against her? Teru seemed to show..uh...some sort of softness in the end? Like she wasn't cold or anything. But in the end, you don't see Ryuuka in the waiting room with her teammates. She's probably with Toki!

Speaking of the end, guess who the Achiga-hen group finally meet? Nodoka! And I thought they'd put the melancholic song, Futuristic Player, but they put another happy one...oh well. I love the part of the song where Teru and her team mates show up...speaking of which...has anyone noticed that maybe Teru and the blue-haired girl on her team could potentially be a couple? Could happen...

I'll edit this later and post pictures!
So this is the end to Saki-Achiga-hen. It was a pretty good series, I wish they continued until 25 episodes. It would have been nice. But I suppose we were only to see a background story of Teru and on top of that they've basically caught up with the manga and have gone further ahead, which is why this episode does seem rushed when Achiga-hen were meeting Nodoka.

Saki Episode 1

I love Saki. As I've mentioned before, watching it after 3 years made me fall in love with it. So because of that, I'm going to blog about it!

So it all starts out with Saki reading a book and then noticing a pretty girl passing by who will eventually and hopefully mean something more...Saki thinks she's pretty!

Then we're introduced to Kyou-chan or as Hisa calls him Suga-kun.

Kyoutarou takes Saki to the mahjong club at her school (Kiyosumi), despite her saying she hates playing. There she sees the pretty girl again and we're also introduced to Yuuki.

Who eats a lot of taco. But they start to play a game and Saki forgets about her hate of mahjong and joins because the pretty girl (Nodoka) is playing.

So I'd continue with saying what happens next but I'll give a brief summary:
Saki doesn't win but she achieves a plus/minus zero which is harder to achieve than winning, bruising Nodoko's ego. Hisa, the president and student congress president is also introduced in this chapter who right away notices Saki's special ability.

She, along with Mako who is introduced the next day, bring Saki back to the mahjong club to play two games to which Hisa would let Saki borrow a book.

Saki plays, everyone tries to stop her from getting a +/- zero score, ends up doing so.

Saki's first episode creates excitment for mahjong and shows a hint of yuri. I don't understand how when someone is running towards another person, they can just hug them instead of stopping right in front of them.

Nodoka and Saki's relationship has a pretty rocky start. Nodoka looked pretty cool in this episode at times and of course so did Hisa.

Cool looking Hisa:

Having goosebumps Hisa:

Cool looking Nodoka:

Saki and Nodoka:

Random group picture:


So it's been three years since I've watched Saki and now I've become obsessed with it after re-watching it. I'm particularly obsessed with Mihoko and Hisa as a couple. Initially it was Saki and Nodoka...but I guess now I like them. I like Momo and Yumi but I feel Yumi is a bit older. Anyways, has anyone noticed that it's only in the anime that there seems to be a hint of something more potentially developing between the two than it is in the manga? I feel like the author never intended it and the producers of the anime just pushed it. I really hope there is something more. Speaking of which the side story of Saki, Achiga-hen...Mihoko was shown twice! Once in the same room with Hisa (and of course Kana and the green haired girl)! Oh well. I hope something does develop. Until then, I'm reading doujinshis about them, mainly from Hayya (can't spell her name properly?) they're pretty good actually. I'm tempted to blog about them and yuri releases in general.

Welp, that's it for now! Ja ne!

Anime Stereotype.

I stole it from prinsesa_zelda ;)

For my unexpted diagnosesCollapse )
Tomboy hands down, though others were pretty close.

Light in My Angel


The Light in My Angel

By Urooj

Note: The first point of view is Shizuru's, then Natsuki's and it alternates after that.

She was polishing shoes on the road. I could tell she was poor from her torn out, ragged clothes nonetheless; her flowing blue hair did not deter my interest in her. I placed my shoe on the stand for her to polish and watched as her delicate, rough hands swiftly polished my shoe while looking down. Finally after the second shoe, she looked up, giving me a better view of her face.

‘Fifty yen please.’ She had said but her words passed over me. Her emerald eyes were the colour of forest trees that had captured some part of me. I couldn’t stop staring at her eyes. Captivating and full of light. Innocent. Her face was pale just as her hands and her lips were small and pink, slightly rough from the winter cold.

It was then and there I had decided to take her with me.

I had been brought to this place to clean myself. Apparently the woman with shoulder-length brown hair and crimson eyes, whose shoe I had polished, brought me to her home. She lived in an enormous Victorian style home that had many spacious rooms and many servants ready to serve at hand. I was led to the washroom that had a gigantic tub situated in the middle of the toilet and washbasin. I stayed in the warm water while I scrubbed myself clean; my blue hair sparkling clean, my body smelt of lilacs. I donned my fresh white clothes and was directed to a room, a fully white room that gave out a feeling of innocence. It was happy and light and I smiled. In it was a dresser, with a mirror, a white wooden closet adjacent to it. The bed, right in front of the door, was white too, with white sheets and pillows. I was in pure heaven.

What had I done to deserve this luck?

She was a maiden. An innocent maiden with emerald eyes who looked as if she belonged in my white room. I had wanted her, for she was all I could think about ever since I saw those emerald eyes. I had entered the room silently and watched her as she looked around, amazement in her eyes. I was pleased.

This shouldn’t be so hard.

I coughed and caught her attention. She whirled around and met my gaze. Her eyes held this shine that befitted this room. She bowed down.

‘Thank you for your generosity’

I smiled and walked towards the bed.

I was shocked. Did I hear correctly? I gave her questioning eyes.

‘Please remove your clothes. I would like to bed you.’

What kind of a request is that? I stared at her crimson eyes that were slightly hazed with desire. Was this why I was brought here?

‘I do not understand’

I huffed in irritation. Perhaps my angel cannot understand my words. I had to say it directly I suppose, without euphemism.

‘I want to have sex with you’

She looked shocked. I suppose my angel had not been suspecting this. She quickly closed her mouth and bowed slightly.

‘I am sorry, but I cannot do that. If that is my payment for your generosity, then I am sorry I cannot fulfill it. However I will pay you for it.’

She took out a few bills and smiled slightly. Her eyes had never lost that shine.

‘You have a wonderful home. I’m very sure you are well off, and can have anyone you want.’

She turned to walk out the door.

‘Thank you’

I quickly walked out of the room and towards the washroom where I had left my clothes. I would change into those and leave as quickly as possible. It was strange but now I had become more aware of my surroundings. Although this was a beautiful home, it had a heavy air, surrounded with men at different places, who at closer speculation, had weapons with them. The servants had weapons?

I quickened my pace. The faster I got out of here, the better it would be.

She left without a word. My angel left! Something inside of me cracked as realization of her departure dawned. I quickly got out of the room only to find her descending the steps of the stairs. My teeth gritted. How dare she think she could leave me?

‘Where do you think you’re going?’

She stopped and looked up. Her emerald eyes still had that shine, but there was fear in them too. I relished that fear.

‘Guards, stop her and take her down there.’

I pointed down to the floor and my guards had understood.

I yelped in pain. I pleaded them to stop.

Again the whip cracked.

Again I yelped in pain. I pleaded them to stop.

I cracked open an eye. What is this place? I looked around to see a dimly lit room, where I was chained to the wall, with my front against it. The whip cracked again and I flinched, having no more energy to make a sound.

‘Will you come to bed with me?” I shook my head no, and she ordered the whip continued to crack.

This treatment didn’t stop until I passed out.

No one could deny an underworld boss. That is what I am. My angel could not deny me and I would punish her until she understood that.

‘Viola-sama, please’

I looked at the man begging for mercy at my feet. He had those same green eyes. The ones she had, and it angered me as to how she disobeyed my command. I raised my gun and released a trigger without second thought.

She came down on the second or third day. I was not able to keep track. My back had been bandaged and I sat on a small bed in the same torture room. She brought food for me and placed it on the table. I held my head low. What had I done to deserve this hell?

Her fingers traced my cheek, moving down to my chin. They were soft, something that made me believe, 'maybe she was a good person in heart.' Her anger just happened to get the best of her. Maybe there was hope.

‘Sleep with me.’ She asked again in a sultry voice. I said no, and received a slap across my face. Was this those same hands that left light feather feelings on my face? Were these rough hands the same soft ones that touched me a while back? Is this person, who beats me now, the same person who saved me from the streets?

I had not known.

What had I done to deserve this?

I had gotten frustrated with her. She never looked at me. Her head was always down and she hardly responded to my questions or touch. It was not my fault that she had to be punished for her disobedience. I had once again gone down to see her before I left for my work.

Her head was down, and she refused to show me those dreamy emerald eyes.

‘Why won’t you look at me?’

She didn’t look up

‘Why won’t you talk to me?’

She continued to look down.

‘Why won’t you sleep with me?’

She continued to look down. Frustrated I walked up to her and forced her too look at me. What I saw made me stumble back slightly.

‘My eyes only show hate.’

Her emerald eyes had no light; they were solemn, induced with hatred.

‘My voice doesn’t make a difference. Instead the whip cracks even harder!’

Her voice was full of venom.

‘And I don’t sleep with scums. I only sleep with the one I love.’

That was the final straw. I smacked her face.

She didn’t visit me in weeks, though I had heard movement upstairs. I had also heard her scream, in what I would think would have been pleasure as I also heard moans. But sometimes, even in my sullen state, I would be pleased to hear her scream.

Within my delusional mind, maybe she had felt some pain that she had inflicted on me.

I hated her.

I didn’t wait for her to come down here. In some ways I should be grateful. I get two meals a day and a bed and a warm place. Yet this abuse was not worth all the favours in exchange of my freedom. I had looked out of the small window. It had seemed that the cherry blossoms had bloomed.

What had I done to deserve this?

I had finished my final job for the day that morning. Greeted by my guards I headed upstairs to shower. Perhaps I would take her out to see the cherry blossoms. Maybe that light would come back to my angel.

Oh, how I longed for that light to show.

She had opened the door, and entered accompanied by her guards. I was her prisoner, and she handcuffed my hands on my back. She beckoned me to follow her and because I had kept my head low I had missed that command. One of her guards backhanded me and I stumbled forward, meeting her flared crimson eyes. I shrunk in fear when she raised her gun. She shot the guard. I had thought that bullet was meant for me.

Why couldn’t I take that guard’s place?

She spoke menacingly.

‘None of you are allowed to touch her without my permission. That would be your punishment if you dare.’ She turned around and beckoned me to follow.

I followed without another word.

I led her to the back of the house. Even though I was still angry, I had managed to stay composed. Nonetheless she knew I was angry for she paid careful attention to my directions. It seems that I cannot hide behind my facade around her. I led her into the garden where the cherry blossoms bloomed yet her head remained low. Unlocking the handcuffs, I set her hands free as the backyard was wired and one could not escape. She looked at her hands and then at me, her dead eyes still shone no light. I smiled at her and she turned to the flower bush. A hint of pink was graced on her cheek and she looked absolutely adorable. She stared down at the flowers, and then hesitantly brought her hands around it. Slowly she wrapped her fingers around it and I knew what she would do.

‘You shouldn’t do that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved since they are trying their hardest to bloom in their short lives.’

Wasn’t I one of those flowers? I have been struggling in this prison. I had been blooming before I was imprisoned here. These beautiful flowers were as caged here, rooted to this spot, as I was.

‘They can’t bloom if they are encaged’

I turned around and stared at the crimson eyed woman, trying to gauge her reaction. I continued.

‘No matter how much love and care you give them, if you encage them, they will not bloom. These flowers are forever rooted here.’

Her smile never faded but there was something different about her. She walked closer to me and lightly traced a finger on my cheek.

‘This flower could bloom if only she slept with me.’

I shook my head, angered by her ignorance.

‘I do not sleep with scums. I sleep with the one I love.’

She was angry as she had slapped me across my face. This time I did not stagger back. This time I had accepted.

‘Guards!’ She roared and I knew I would feel pain for the next few days.

‘I do not know what to do with her.’ I confessed to the dark haired man. He was also a former underboss and currently hid from the underworld.

‘You mean the girl you have kept in prison for a year?’ He asked, his amber eyes twinkling.

‘Yes! I do not know how to make her sleep with me.’ I had my head down.

‘Why do you want her Viola-san? What different is she from others? You found her on the street. She isn’t of any value-‘

‘She is!’ I had stood up and my heart raged. ‘She is an angel with emerald eyes. She is my angel, and solely mine. She is worth everything to me, and I want her!’

He studied me for a minute. ‘Why not force her into it?’

‘Would you force an angel?’ He chuckled and shook his head.

‘You’re logic is funny. But you beat her don’t you?’

‘For her disobedience!’

‘To succumb to your command...isn’t that a painful way to force someone?’

‘I have not forced anything upon her!’ He was right. I had truly been a monster.

She had come down to my room that night. Her eyes were angry even though she looked composed.

She looked at me hard and I had shrunk down. I knew I was in for another beating. Yet I did not do anything, I swear it!

She opened the door wide. ‘You are free to leave’

I blinked once, and then blinked twice. I looked at her with a bewildered expression

I had let out a frustrated sigh. It had pained me to do this, but I had too.

‘Did you not hear me? You are free to go!’ I screamed and she instantly scrambled from the bed and ran for the door.

The sight hurt deeply. Did my angel want to leave that badly? Did she want to stay away from me? Did she not want me?

I ran after her and caught up to her before she left my house. As she neared the entrance I had hugged her waist.

‘Please don’t leave...’ I pleaded, as tears strolled down my eyes. She froze.

I couldn’t move. Is she asking me to stay?

‘I do not wish for you to go. Stay with me and I will treat you fairly with respect. Please, don’t go.’

I looked in front. There, in front of me was freedom. There in front of me, was life without abuse, was no force to sleep with someone. There in front of me, was a life of freedom.

And also a life of uncertainties. As if I leave, would I have food to eat? Could I sustain myself? Would there not be people out there, that might rape me?

Yet living with her was not worth it. It was not worth the abuse. I looked at the doorknob and back at the crying brunette.

Something tugged my heart.

Goodbye freedom.

She had stayed! She had decided to stay! I was so happy, but her eyes were slightly sad. She looked at me, although she never smiled.

‘You can do as you please.’ I said softly. She nodded as if she had known that.

‘You may leave and come as you please too, granted you come here at night time and stay here.’ Her ears perked up and she looked happy.

For almost a second.

Then her eyes become suspicious and I had wondered what might have passed through her mind. Just as quickly, her eyes reverted back to normal and she nodded.

‘Thank you, Viola-sama.’ She turned around and walked out the door.

I didn’t feel right with the way she addressed me. She should have said Shizuru.

Then it struck me. What was her name?


I had come back home every night. The first night she was anxious as she sat in the living room waiting for my arrival. I had felt this warm feeling in my chest and had announced my entrance to see her smile.

She never asked where I went; only relieved to know I came back.

That happened every night.

Today, she asked for my name.

‘That cannot be your real name.’ She accused. I smiled slightly.

‘Kruger, Natsuki.’

She smiled. ‘Natsuki.’ It rolled off her tongue so naturally. It was a melodic sound. My name had never sounded so wonderful from anyone else’s mouth.

Except my mother.

‘Who was she?’ I questioned as I saw some blonde woman drop Natsuki off at home.

She looked surprised. Then her eyes returned back to normal. ‘A friend’.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. ‘What kind of friend?’

Her eyes flashed before me. ‘A friend. Someone I can talk too.’

I seethed. Why couldn’t she and I be friends?

She looked at me and walked away to her room, no longer in the basement, but near mine.

Inside I felt angry. No one was allowed near Natsuki. I was the one she only needed. No one else.

When my dark haired friend heard of my predicament, he chuckled.

‘That, Viola-san, is the green-eyed monster.’

I looked at him in confusion. He chuckled again.


I had worked in a store during the day and by the time they closed it was already sunset, so I never had to work a night shift. It was good and it was perfect. I needed some sense of normalcy.

I waved at the blonde who was ready to go. She was a friend, a co-worker. Someone other than Viola.

While straightening the shelves, I heard a scream. I ran out to the alleys to find my co-worker surrounded by a bunch of men with guns. I ran in the middle, shoved them aside and opened my arms wide open to shield her. A figure emerged in the middle.

‘Natsuki’ Her accented voice flowed. I recognized it immediately.

Turning to her direction I looked at her and back to my co-worker, who was shivering in fear.

‘Viola-sama.’ I said, trying to figure a way out, safely for my work companion.

‘Who is she to you that you protect her, Natsuki?’ Why was her voice so angry?

‘She a co-worker. A friend!’ I had replied. If I plead with Viola, maybe she would let her go.

‘Is that why she shares lunch with you everyday? Is she merely a friend?’ I narrowed my eyes, was she stalking me? And what is she trying to instigate?

Someone’s gun clicked and I panicked. My companion had gripped my arm tightly.

‘She’s a friend!’ I shouted. ‘Only a friend!’ I pulled my co-worker closer to me, shielding her body with my own. If they want to kill her, they would kill me first.

Shizuru signalled everyone to lower their weapon. She looked hard at the blond then at me.

‘If you don’t want her dead, I suggest you don’t associate with her. You wouldn’t want her killed, ne Nat-su-ki...’

They way she said my name sent shivers down my spine but not out of pleasure. I had nodded.

‘Promise you won’t hurt her.’

Shizuru studied me, and then nodded.

‘I give you my word.’

Natsuki never spoke to me after that. She was never around. She had come home obediently every day and went to her room. She scarcely ate. Every time I would talk to her, she would say a polite word or two then flee. Could she not stand me?

She had invited me to eat dinner with her, and reluctantly I consented. As I sat across her, I ate quietly, politely nodding and replying to what she had to say. Finally she grew frustrated.

‘Why won’t you talk to me?’ I looked up at her and cocked my head.

‘Is it because of that blonde?’ I shook my head.

She narrowed her eyes. That was never a good sign. ‘Are you in love with her?’


She got out of her chair and flipped the table. I moved back in reflex, saving myself from any harm.

‘Then what is it? What do I lack? What does she have that I don’t? What does it take to make you love me?’


She slapped me. ‘Liar, I have been nice to you.’ She slapped me again. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand her. Her abuse had grown old on me now that I could hardly feel it. I don’t care if she is an underworld boss.

‘You don’t love. You hurt. I don’t want to be with someone who cannot respect their partner. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who cannot befriend their partner. You’re a person who does not value my thoughts and feelings. You have overstepped your boundaries and stalked me! You don’t trust me, nor do you give me any sort of freedom. You’ve become an abusive monster. I do not wish to be with you.’

From then on, I was back to where I had started. I was sent to the basement, beaten and encaged.

After a particular beating, with the remaining energy I had left, I shouted,

‘Why don’t you just kill me?’

She lowered her arm and stared at me. I looked up at her with hatred.

‘There is no difference between getting beaten to a pulp and dying. Why don’t you just kill me? What good does it do to you to beat me? Just kill me already and put me out of my misery.’ I whispered miserably, finally sobbing. After a year and a half of misery, I had finally cried.

The whip dropped and I watched her retreating figure out the door. Apparently she was in a rush, because she ran out.

I killed them all. I killed those with emerald eyes because every time I would see their emerald eyes, I would see hers, full of hatred and tears. So caged. Everything that had happened previously between me and her would come back. That shine that she once had was gone and I destroyed it.

What was I to do with myself? What would I do with her?

She was angel, she was never my angel, but nonetheless she was an angel.

What was I to do with an angel that didn’t shine any more because of me?

I went down to the basement where she lay. I stroked her sleeping figure. If I kill her, what would be my reason to live?

I watched as her chest rose and dropped. Occasionally she would wince from pain inflicted by me and I would flinch. Have I truly become what she has said? Am I really a monster?

I looked at my hands. I am no different from a monster. An uncompassionate human being.

She came down a few times but she never touched me or spoke to me. She only watched and I had my eyes lowered.

I had been thinking for a while and I had finally thought of a way out. Maybe this would be my only escape. I would lower myself in my own eyes.

I had come to a decision.

‘Would you set me free, if I slept with you?’

After all that is why my misery had started; because I refused to sleep with her. My pride and dream had overshadowed my safety.

I waited for her in my bed. She was cleaning herself and I had felt all giddy. Finally my angel would be truly mine.

But at the price for her freedom. Was this right? Why did this exchange feel so wrong?

She entered the room in a white robe and sat on top of the bed. I had scooted closer to her and raised her face to meet my eyes. Her eyes were dead, there was no light. However this did not stop me as thoughts of possessing this blue haired angel preceded.

Her lips were soft and she moaned softly. Her hair was softer and I couldn’t get enough of it. I held her tight and gently placed her on the bed. She responded, coming alive beneath me and my heart jumped in joy. Her hands tangled in my hair, her tongue gently licked my lips. I broke from the kiss and looked into her eyes; there was a small amount of light that I had longed to see. I kissed her passionately again and she moaned. I loved that sound. Slowly I had started to undo her robe while kissing her neck gently. Her hips rose, gently grinded against mine and I kissed her. My beautiful angel. I had finally taken off her robe from the top and allowed my hands to wander over her skin and her back. She broke off the kiss to let out a cry of pain and it was then that I had noticed.

Her skin was covered with scars. Her beautiful body was full of bruises, scars and wounds. All caused by me.

My hands trembled. She looked at me, silently, but did not say a word. I moved back slowly, afraid.

What had I done to her?

What was I doing?

I didn’t deserve her!

I didn’t deserve to give her pleasure when I inflicted pain upon her.

I didn’t deserve her!

I was about to flee when she had caught my arm. She gently pulled me back to her.

‘It’s okay,’ She soothed. ‘It’s okay’

She stroked my back and comforted me as I cried. I didn’t have to explain, she understood. She was here for me even after I had done this to her.

She truly was my angel. I didn’t have to bed her to make her mine.

And I was nothing but a demon to her. A monster.

I cried asleep that night in the comfort of her arms.

I had vowed a few things to myself that night. To respect her, to understand her, but most of all, to learn to properly love her.

Viola had never hurt me after that. In fact she seemed friendlier, asking about my health, talking and even laughing with me. At first I was suspicious. What was she up to this time? However, as time went on, I had started to relax and reciprocated her kind gestures.

She would leave at night time and return at dawn. I was curious about her whereabouts, however sometimes I was given a clue.

Either she had the smell of blood, or a heavy smell of perfume.

It saddened me to smell any of the two on her.

I had come back early in the morning. I knew Natsuki knew what I had done each night as the smell would waft to her nose. She would frown, but not say anything about it. I quickly went up, to shower this time and emerged down to look for her.

I couldn’t find her.

I panicked and asked the nearest guard about her whereabouts, to which he pointed that she was in the garden.

I ran out to find her. She was lying down on a hill, near a tree, with her eyes closed, a smile gracing her face. She looked so relaxed, like an angel. The one that I had first met. I approached her quietly but her ears picked up the sound of my footsteps as she lazily opened one eye.

‘Come, lie down.’ She said softly. I lay beside her and stared at the sky. A certain peaceful feeling surrounded us.

‘When I was a kid, I used to lie down and stare at the sky. Different clouds that used to go by had different shapes, and I would try to make them out.’

I listened intently.

‘What did you do for fun as a child Viola-sama?’

‘Shizuru’ I corrected.

She opened both her eyes. ‘Shizuru-sama.’

‘No, just Shizuru.’ She nodded and waited for me to talk.

‘I didn’t do anything for fun Natsuki. The only thing I had done for fun was to practise shooting and martial arts. Father would always taunt me, and that made me mad. I would always take it out using those activities.’

Silence, and then she spoke.

‘Was he also an underboss?’

I nodded. ‘Yes he was. It wasn’t until recently that he died.’

I had understood where her anger had sprouted from, why she was a violent person. If someone had taunted you, you would feel angry and try to release it. No matter how much you tolerate them, you would need to release them. For Shizuru, it seemed that she used to hold in those angry feelings, and then release them while she practised. Her violent tendency became a part of her life and that was why she got violent with me when I had disobeyed.

She wanted control. Her father never gave her any.

She wanted to control my life. I would not give her any either. So I had to suffer the consequences.

‘I would like to go on a trip somewhere in Japan.’

I looked up from my papers to see Natsuki at the doorway.

‘I have the money to pay my expenses; I would like to go please.’

I panicked. She wanted to go, but would she come back? I didn’t want to lose my angel, not after I had become so attached to her.

I was also afraid of letting her go. But I had to. That would be love. Not confining her.

‘On one condition. Promise me you will come back.’

She nodded and smiled. Inside, my stomach fluttered at her smile.

I had felt something I hadn’t felt in a while.


I walked down a familiar path, looking for a familiar building. Looking around, I had finally spotted it and entered.

It had been a few days after Natsuki’s departure. Those days that had passed by without her, were complete torture. I worried constantly about her safety, her health, but mostly if she would want to come back.

To ease all my anxiety I had went to Osaka to see my black haired friend.

His words slightly eased my worried state.

‘If she truly belongs to you, she will come back to you. Nothing will stop her’

‘Not even her fears about me?’

He smiled. ‘Not even that.’

I couldn’t believe what I just saw. Was that Shizuru up ahead talking to some black-haired man?

Apparently I was frozen to the ground. Had she followed me here?

I thought she had trusted me. I was about to run as quick as possible when the black-haired man turned to meet my eyes, Shizuru following suit.

Her eyes widened in surprise and from that I had concluded that she didn’t follow me here.

Her face broke into a smile.

‘Natsuki’ She said warmly and I shivered inside. This time out of pleasure.

‘Reito-san, meet Natsuki, and Natsuki, meet Reito-san’ I had introduced the two and Reito gave Natsuki a charming smile.

‘It’s a pleasure to officially meet you, Natsuki.’ He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. Natsuki’s face immediately blushed and I jabbed Reito in the ribs. My eyes locked with his and he gulped.

I knew what he saw in my eyes. I had made sure they had given out the message ‘Mine’.

He laughed and ran a nervous hand over his head. Something vibrated on his waist and he removed his phone. Looking at the caller ID, he sighed.

‘I’m sorry I’ll have to sit this one out. Maybe some other time. Bye Viola-san, bye Natsuki-chan!’ He winked and I swore I was ready to pull out my gun. My hand touched its hilt of it and then I felt Natsuki touch my hand softly. ‘Shizuru’ She said, apparently noticing my actions.

I smiled at her. ‘Do not worry; I will not kill him...yet.’ I winked at her and she laughed.

We sat in a cafe.

‘What brought you here Natsuki?’ She asked as she sipped her tea.

‘I had some things to take care of, and some belongings to take.’ I pointed at my stuffed dog.

She looked at it and her ears perked. She looked at me in confusion. ‘Some belongings?’

I nodded. ‘This is where I had spent my childhood before my mother was snatched from me.’

She waited for me to continue.

‘She had debts to pay, but could not, so she was killed.’

Her face twitched slightly, but other than that, she didn’t show any reaction.

‘I was spared and left to fend for myself. I had moved to Tokyo where I thought it would have been easier to make money.’

She had closed her eyes and I continued to speak.

‘It was and I had polished shoes everyday, making enough to eat food once a day. But not enough to have a roof over my head. I had to be careful; I had to be sharp in order to live.’

I had stopped and she opened her eyes. Her eyes were sad. None of us spoke after that but in my mind I had continued.

Then one day I had polished some wealthy person’s shoe. When I looked up to tell her the amount to pay, I saw crimson eyes. Her brown hair looked so soft and her smile was warm.

But she wasn’t the person I had seen on our first encounter. She had turned out to be worse. The kind I had tried to protect myself from.

Yet recently, she’s changed. She’s become kind, warm and soft. She talks and listens. She even trusts me. She’s become a friend.

A good friend.

And recently I have started to feel more.

Or maybe I always had.

I love her.

A woman had cried and begged to be forgiven. I held my gun against her temple and snarled.

‘Why should I?’

She sobbed even more. ‘I have a child! She wouldn’t know what to do without me.’

I blinked and pulled the gun away from her temple.

‘Leave’ I commanded, and she scurried away.

Every time a mother or father had asked for forgiveness, I would forgive their debt. I would never want their child to live in misery like Natsuki had.

Speaking of which, everything I did was Natsuki induced. Looking out of the window and staring at cherry blossoms reminded me of Natsuki.

Dogs reminded me of Natsuki’s stuffed toy.

Blue reminded me of Natsuki’s hair.

Green reminded me of her eyes.

White reminded me of her purity. The angel that she was. The light that shone in her eyes because of me. And I would do everything in my power to make it shine. For now and forever.

‘Ne, Shizuru?’ I asked. Shizuru looked up from her book. She was sitting on her bed and I was sitting on a chair.

‘Yes Natsuki?’

‘Why did you let me go to Osaka?’ I asked. That was nagging me for a while.

Shizuru seemed to battle herself internally and then she smiled fondly. ‘I love you Natsuki. I truly love you.’

My eyes widened. My breath caught. My heart was beating faster

‘I love you enough to let you go, because I knew you’d come back. After all if something were to truly belong to you, it would return back to you no matter what right?’

She looked so beautiful right now, with that smile. She was irresistible.

I walked up to her slowly.

‘Yes, they do come back.’

I couldn’t resist.

I bent down and kissed her softly on those lips. I gently pushed her down.

I wanted to show her love.

She pulled back a bit stunned. ‘N-Natsuki, are you sure about this?’

She was scared and I could see that.

‘Yes Shizuru,’ I said in a voice that was thick with desire. ‘I want to make love with you.’

She stared at me for a while. Then her face changed, her eyes shone with love.

‘There’s that light in your eyes Natsuki. The light I love, my angel.’

I couldn’t help but smile at her. ‘And it will shine, Shizuru. Only for you, for now and forever.’

She pulled me down for a kiss. Clothes were quickly removed as we entangled ourselves with each other.

‘I sleep with the one I love’ I whispered into her ear, gently sucking it.

‘I make love to the one I love’ I went inside her. She thrust her leg against me.

‘And the one I love...’ I faltered as I had reached my peak. We locked gazes as we both climaxed.

‘...Is you.’ I kissed her passionately, hugging her tightly. She wrapped her arms around me and I draped my leg possessively over her body.

She smiled at me and before she drifted off to sleep I whispered into her ear.

‘Aishiteru yo, Shizuru’


I haven't used this blog so much, so my first post will be I guess what it's going to be about.
My blog will be an anime blog, in which I'll host stories that I've written and perhaps have published in other blogs.

Adding to that, I'll also be posting my anime music videos and anything else anime related. That being said, there might be some blogs on non-anime items, which is fine, because it's a blog that I can do as I wish with it =P

My Fanfiction.net pename is Urooj
My youtube Channel is AristocraticRose

So welcome to my LiveJournal and I hope you have a wonderful stay.